36 Hours

36 Hours.
Just 36 hours more before I defy gravity.
36 hours more before I begin my journey home.

Just 36 more hours. I can hold on. I'm going home.

100 Rules for College: As Written by a BYU Freshman

With the semester almost gone, and with Finals upon us, I feel like writing down 100 rules for college life based on my experience so far. They are as follows, and are written down in the order they came into my head:

1. Hot Pockets are not your friends.
2. Cannon Center Omelettes are not your friends either.
3. I wouldn't trust the Lean Cuisines from the vending machines either...
4. Always check your weekend plans before agreeing to a date.
5. Be sure you have a friend who could be a second choice for the girl if you fail to comply with Rule 4.
6. Never bet college students food, you will lose.
7. Always check your evening plans before heading out on the town, or else you will be late for work.
8. Do not use chopsticks as Walrus Tusks.
9. Classes at 9 am are early
10. Classes at 8 am are even earlier.
11. If you do not strap your keys to your pants you will lose them.
12. Check everyone's major before you make a joke about Art History majors, there are more of them than you expect.
13. Get to know the library computers. In the case that your laptop kills itself then you will need to beg for mercy at the feet of the library computers.
14. Karaoke Night is always an option.
15. Do not let Netflix steal sleep, you will regret it in the morning.
16. Bring your Student ID EVERYWHERE, no exceptions.
17. It is okay to assume a false identity, so long as you never intend to see that person again.
18. Guard your floor's shower curtains with your life.
19. All noises outside your door after 10 pm must be inspected.
20. Leave neither your keys nor your wallet in your friend's car. For reason refer to Rule 21.
21. Everybody talks. 
22. If your friend learns the unlock pattern to their phone, be sure you learn theirs.
23. Do not under any circumstances attempt to push your friends into a hot tub. Bad idea. He will take you down with him.
24. If you take Accounting and Finance concurrently, be prepared for overlap.
25. It is most of the times, okay to be impish.
26. Be scarce when cleaning checks come around
27. Never reveal where the good WiFi is in the building.
28. If your friend who is female (specifically NOT a girlfriend) starts talking to your friends back home, they will like her more than you.
29. Never ask your profesor if they are purposefully dressed like a pirate.
30. Lock up your food.
31. Develop a simple, non-verbal code with your roommate to communicate simple messages secretly.
32. Make friends with someone who has a car.
33. Keep your journal far away from anyone else.
34. If you are in a Long Distance Relationship never lose hope or faith. The distance will make the reunion that much better.
35. Keep all containers.
36. Invest in good air fresheners.
37. Legal pads are superior writing pads.
38. Always have a good hiding spot in your room you can quickly get into.
39. If possible, sleep away from the door and near the window. This puts optimal distance (and your roommate) between yourself and any potential axe murderers. Additionally it places you near a convenient escape route.
40. Within your room establish territory and zones of neutrality. This is important in establishing dorm room hierarchical social structures.
41. Always look presentable when exiting your room. Through this means attempt to discover the social structure of the floor and ensure you do not find yourself low on the pecking order. 
42. Never leave your clothes unattended in the laundry room. They will be stolen and you will be sad.
43. Establish a good relationship with  your roommate, you'll need each others' backs.
44. Man does not live by Pop-Tarts and Ramen alone.
45. Nevertheless, Pop-Tarts and Ramen provide a sufficient food source for late night studying.
46. Determine what items and foodstuffs are held in common for your room.
47. Apparently watching Netflix in the lobby causes Copyright Law issues. I wouldn't know from experience, a friend told me once.
48. Be sure to get out of the room occasionally. 
49. Watch the clock, it runs faster than college students at the mention of free food.
50. If you spend all your time looking in the mirror you'll go mad. Be someone else's mirror and help them see their good traits.
51. Admire yourself in the mirror from time to time nevertheless.
52. Never under any circumstances sound like Jaden Smith in word, text, or Morse.
53. Shave often.
54. Have a regular weekly activity to distract yourself with.
55. After doing your laundry, ensure your roommate does his.
56. Don't talk about Fight Club.
57. If you are the Potato Fiend, do not get caught. 
58. If you are not the Potato Fiend you must protect the Potato Fiend.
59. When asked who is the Potato Fiend, all present must defend him like he is Spartacus, by standing and saying "I am the Potato Fiend".
60. Many may act, but there is only one original.
61. Never lose hope.
62. Keep in touch with those you love, make sure they know you love them.
63. All Hail the Glow Cloud. All Hail.
64. Puppies solve many problems.
65. Corgis heal most wounds. 
66. Never leave home without your iClicker.
67. Do not mix up Debits and Credits.
68. Find a source of income that is both legal and steady.
69. Get a good pen and guard it with your life.
70. Never let an idea go, so you can make beautiful things like this list.
71. There is no shame in getting lost in a maze of recycling blocks. 
72. There is also no shame in getting scared out of your mind in said maze.
73. Establish a common meeting spot.
74. Always have a back-up. 
75. Learn to identify crossdressing Hebrew Nouns.
76. If you are able to, anything said in semaphore is acceptable.
77. Leave early when playing Humans vs. Zombies.
78. Pack all you'll need for the day when playing Humans vs. Zombies.
79. Watch Odd Thomas.
80. Your laptop is your most valuable tool, protect it. 
81. Arrange proper viewing schedules for your television shows.
82. Do not forget why you are at college.
83. When in character, stay in character.
84. If you sing poorly at karaoke, do not worry, it's just karaoke.
85. Attend Karaoke night at your own risk, many believe they can rap. They cannot.
86. Karaoke Duets are always more fun.
87. Should you attend a Murder Mystery, review the laws concerning your profession so as to not accidentally admit to committing a white collar crime.
88. Be graceful in all you do.
89. Do not listen to sad music when you are feeling sad. I recommend instead Awesome Mix Vol. 1.
90. Always think before referencing pop culture.
91. Do not do laundry on the weekends, the machines will always be occupied.
92. Always check your pockets before doing laundry, you will lose your earbuds.
93. Do not let your fears get the best of you.
94. Never offend, neither purposefully nor accidentally.
95. Always look around.
96. Check your mail everyday. This will ensure you never get anything but junk mail. But the moment you stop checking your mail is when you will get a bill in the mail.
97. Network with other students.
98. Ignore Rule 17. It's just a bad idea.
99. You will say "Finals are upon us" before you realize it.
100. When jumping is the only option you have, you jump and try to make it work.

The Thumbtack

There is a thumbtack stuck to the ceiling,
It is green.
This room is very quiet,
The Jealous Hypocrite shoots me disapproving glances from across the table.
Our neighbors speak of random oddities in muffled voices from behind the wall.
I am bored tonight, with no actual work left for me.
There is a thumbtack stuck to the ceiling.
It is green.
And it is fascinating.

Black Clad Sharks

They give and they take. They lurk between the islands so neatly distributed in their sea. They give from the left, they take from the right. They are black-clad sharks. They smile with white, gleaming teeth. They are so kind. However there are somethings you'll never find. The fact that they have a secret wish: to no longer swim the sea between the islands. They are the black clad sharks with pearly white smiles. They live to serve, and even though they are sharks, they do not eat. They only take your empty plates.

Choices

"We are the choices we make in the moment, as you said" -Abraham von Brunt

I've always found it amazing how film and television can approach such deep topics for discussion. The quote above comes from the most recent episode of Fox's Sleepy Hollow that I could access (because I have to wait for the episodes are released a week after they air I am perpetually a week behind). If you watch the show, I applaud you on your good taste in television, I will also put a spoiler warning here just in case you haven't seen Sleepy Hollow Season 2 Episode 11 "Magnus Opus".

*SPOILER ALERT*

In this episode Ichabod Crane and Abigail Mills, the Two Witnesses, are faced with Moloch come to Earth and about to usher in the End of Days. While looking through the diary of one of Mills's ancestors they find mention of the Sword of Enoch, a weapon they can use to banish Moloch from his earthly form. Upon finding the hiding spot they find it is guarded by a Gorgon, from ancient Greek myth, a creature that can turn any living being to stone with a killer gaze. Determining they need someone who cannot meet the Gorgon's gaze to fight the monster so they can get the sword, Crane and Mills lure Abraham von Brunt, Crane's former best friend and Horseman of Death/Headless Horseman to the spot. While the Headless Horseman wrestles with the monster, the two heroes sneak into the caves and find many swords. Faced with the fact that it will take time to find the correct sword, Crane goes off to face his former best friend and buy Mills some time.

During their battle Crane and the Headless Horseman (who now appears with his head, because... cave magic, you know?) openly discuss their past as friends and the "betrayal" that von Brunt sees. Abraham blames Ichabod for what he has become yelling "I was suppose to be the hero of this story, not the villain!" But Ichabod reminds Abraham that he chose to take up the mantle of Death and to follow Moloch, "Two Choices made in an instant" that sealed his fate.

*END OF SPOILERS*

When it comes down to it, the quote that I opened this post with really is true. Who we were in the past, who we are today, and who we will become, all is dependent on our choices. We might not have chosen to which family or which circumstance we were born, we might not have chosen the specific challenges and hardships we face in this life. But in the end we chose to come here and be born. And we've been making choices all our lives. Right now I am choosing to write this down. Right now you are choosing to read this. We choose our future through our choices in the present.

Time is like an hourglass. At the top of the hour glass is the past, at the bottom is the future. We are constantly in the middle of this hourglass, in the narrow neck of time. We only have control of our present. So many choices have led us to where we are now. Our grandparents chose where to live and how to raise their children, those choices were influenced by their parents choices and so on and so forth. Our parents decided to have children and that's when we were born and all the years of our lives have been filled with choices that lead to us now. The choices we make in our present time will influence our future, our children's future, and, ultimately, the future of worlds.

Although the world is such a big place, we exist in the narrow space that is our present time. We only can control our present, but we have influence over infinity because of our choices. We are the choices made in the moment. And we always have choice.

Anticipation

Happy December 1 everyone! Now is beginning my favorite time of the year, Christmastime and New Years. Time with family and loved ones is always great. I find myself looking forward to the season more and more as I grow older. Especially now, that I'm at college, many, many miles away from my family I am so excited to fly home. I am excited to be back in my hometown. I am excited to see my family and friends. I am excited to see my girlfriend and spend time with her again after being apart for so long.

It's because of this excitement that I have created a countdown calendar to my flight home. This is just a simple thing that I have pinned to the bulletin board above my desk. My friends have suggested that it is Pinterest worthy. Now, I am barely literate in Facebook. I made a Twitter, but I never use it. I will occasionally use Google + as much as the average person does, which is, not at all. As for Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, MySpace (is that even still a thing), Mybook, Facespace, and whatever other social media sites are out there, I just don't use them. I do not even have an account.

So for you my Dear Readers, an exclusive look at my Countdown Calendar, only for you. You may call it simplistic, and I will say that I am certainly no artist. But sometime, I find that the most beautiful things in the world are the simple things. Eighteen more days, thirteen hours, and forty-five minutes until I fly home.

But who's counting?

Things I am Thankful For

Since yesterday it was Thanksgiving Day here in the United States I decided to make a list of 10 things I am Thankful for (in no order of importance):

1. My family
2. My opportunity to study at BYU
3. My friends
4. My wonderful and amazing-beyond-all-comparison Girlfriend
5. My incredible intellect
6. My devilishly handsome good looks
7. My even better sense of humour
8. My warm coat
9. The technology that allows me to talk to people I love who are far away
10. The Dear Readers of my blog, there are so few of you out there, so thank you for taking the time to read the thoughts of my mind.

Happy Holidays to all of you! Cheers!

How to be Beautiful... Like Me

I know you are all thinking it, yes, Dear Reader, I am indeed beautiful. How do I know you think that? How can you even think that when some of you have yet to meet me, some may never have the privilege of meeting me. But then, yes, we still get to this point. I am beautiful. Please, allow me to innumerate my beautiful traits.

When I look in the mirror I see... me of course! I'm not a vampire so my reflection shows. I see a guy in mildly wrinkled clothes, seeing as at times I fail to fold the laundered clothes (please refer back to my previous poem about the matter of folding the clothes). I wear my school with pride, I have several shirts that read: Brigham Young University. Why wouldn't I have these shirts, I got them for free, and that four letter word is music to college students. I wear the same old coat that's missing a button on the bottom left side. Lint has collected on the jacket seeing as I have neither gotten around to investing in a lint roller nor found a dry cleaner around here. I carry the same black messenger bag with the same well read books. I have papers and pencils to adorn my student figure. I have eyes that speak of late nights studying and hands that speak of being soaked for far too long in the dishroom during long night shifts. But I am beautiful.

I am in desperate need of a haircut and sometimes my stubble grows in before I get around to shaving. My voice goes from a deep, low monotone to a shrill theatrical laugh. I've scared children, I've scared teachers, I've scared doctors. And yet all the while I am beautiful.

I am a Peacock who struts around the world. I am so pleased with myself I cannot see at times when danger lurks behind my fan. Sometimes the fan of my many feathers weighs me down from escaping the danger. Yet I am happy the way I am because being beautiful is not about wearing the nicest clothes or having the most expensive haircut. There's well groomed, which I am, then there's garishly bedecked, which I'm not. Some people think that beauty is being the gem of the world so they polish their outsides to be the biggest brightest gem, although imperfections always lurk underneath. The biggest gems are always those who are gems to themselves first and to others later, these are gems that are not always seen as gems. They are just a rock to the world, plain, simple, and common. But inside they are brighter than the brightest gems the world sees. I am beautiful because I chose to be who I am and I surround myself with people who love me for who I am on the inside, rather than what's on the outside. We all have bad hair days, and the days where we've let ourselves go. But we are beautiful on the inside. So never forget who you are and never forget those who love you. The world will tell you to wear the biggest necklaces or have the most expensive garb. All the while thought remember the Sneetches who were too focused on the "Stars upon thars" that they didn't see the stars within themselves. Be confident with who you are, that's how I'm beautiful, and how you can be beautiful too.

I am a Spy

I might as well say it. I am a Spy. Not the type of spy who follows from a distance with binoculars. I'm a Secret Spy, a Special Agent. I'm not far away. I'm right next to you, you just don't know it. I'm not wearing any special gear, I'm not sneaking around, I'm just that guy down the aisle looking at the Shower Gels. I'm wearing a heavy black jacket, and a maroon scarf paired with maroon shoes. I'm a spy, and my greatest ability is the ability to be the same as everyone around me.

There is a crowd in the store. A basketball game just finished. The counter is full of happy people eating ice cream with friends. I laugh at their jokes, but I'm dead serious. I pull out my phone, but I'm not texting. I'm taking pictures. I have one goal: to make the grade. To complete my mission I must identify strengths and weaknesses in the target's strategy. I see all the pretty packaging. I know all the persuading promotion. I know your tricks.

I'm not just a Spy, this store is not just the venue of my mission it is the target of my mission. My mission is not just a mission, it is a project. I'm not just a Spy, I'm a Marketing Student, and my goal is to make the grade.

My Shoes and My Scarf

On Friday I bought new shoes.
They have a maroon canvass top.
They also have white soles and a black stripe.
I have a maroon scarf with a black stripe.
My Maroon shoes match my maroon scarf.
This makes me happy.
That is all.

Some of the Wisest Words I've Ever Heard

"Your focus determines your reality" -Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn

"Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don't think. Trust you instincts" -Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn

Now before you, my dear reader, begin lampooning me as the King of Nerds for quoting Star Wars (even worse, quoting from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace), please allow me to explain why this quote has made an impact on me. Star Wars has been an almost ever present part of my life. I grew up with the Original Trilogy, I would clean my room as young child so that I could have a space to lie down on when I put my Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi VHS into the VCR that sat in my room. Something about the saga captured the attention of my mind. Needless to say I was excited out of my mind when, in 1999, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace came out. Even though for my fans of the franchise it lacked what they had waited for for so long I loved the movie. I loved the battle sequences, as a child the massive armies were huge to me and filled my eyes with delight.

Now I'm older and I still am a huge fan of Star Wars, although the battle sequences are spectacular to me still I've found something else for me to enjoy in the story. You'd be surprised how much wisdom exists within those six films (seven, if you are among the fans who count The Clones Wars movie, which I happen to do). My favorite bit of wisdom, however comes from The Phantom Menace. Many of you will be surprised that wisdom can be found in the same film as Jar Jar Binks,but as I've grown up I've found this one line by Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn to be one of the most influential lines from film I've ever heard. Before departing to return to Naboo for a final confrontation with the Trade Federation Qui-Gon Jinn takes young Anakin aside and says "Remember: Your focus determines your reality".

I have never been one who throws himself down at the feet of those self-help gurus who always proclaim the power of positive thinking. For some reason I always found it sickeningly optimistic. However within the past year of my life I have had many hard times. There are times that I fail to live up to the expectations of others. There are times I fail to live up to my own expectations. There are times when it seems everything around me seems to go wrong. There are even times when those I care about go through hard times and I feel powerless to help.

That last bit is especially hard. For some of them I know exactly how they feel. I feel the same loss and hopelessness because, at one point in my life I was lost. I do not want to come off as a self-proclaimed savior, because I'm not, But I know from my own experience that when tough times come when we focus on it they just get tougher. Focusing on things makes them a bigger part of your life. When I am so taken in by a good book the world fades from around me because that's where my focus is, this has happened with only a few books so far Ready, Player One by Ernest Cline is one that I would highly recommend, but I digress.

Concentrating on the here and now is also important. Looking far into the future is good but it should not be our focus. The future is ever changing based on the choices we make and the choices of others around us. By looking too much into what the future might hold we risk creating what I call Fear Fantasies. In these Fear Fantasies we look at every possible outcome we can see, and all the ways it can go wrong. We try to manipulate the future in our favor and by so doing we inadvertently bring about the very future we tried to avoid because we never existed where we were, when we were.

I'll simply close this ramble by immortalizing my father on the internet (through something other than pauldone.com) by relaying something he would always say to me.

"Be where you are, when you are there" -Paul M. Done

EC Locator

I supposedly have a sense of humour that speaks of living close to Washington D.C. My humourous anecdotes also add colour to my image as "Not from Utah". Personally, one of my favorite tales from growing up comes from when I was a volunteer for the Romney Campaign (yes I am a Republican, and I am not ashamed of it). I was a young smiling kid ready to go and do my part, albeit small, for what I believe would have been a better path for the nation.

So there I am in some khaki shorts and a Romney/Ryan shirt. My partner and I did the first two doors together. Not so bad. So then I go to take my side of the street, and the first person to answer the door is a large, muscular black man. I felt like David looking up to Goliath, the man was a giant filling the entire doorway. And of course, he had Obama's face tattooed on his right arm.

Needless to say, I was not received very well.

This brings me to a point that the humour and jokes one tells really does say a lot about the place they come from, my joke shows (I think) the atmosphere of severe partisanship and division I see where I live. Here in Utah though, it's a little different.

What I've experienced here in enormous quantities, are not political jokes, not even as many Mormon jokes as you would expect. No, the largest topic for jokes out here is marriage.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against getting married, in fact I look wholeheartedly forward to the day that my life is figured out enough that I can settle down with someone I love and know I will be with them for eternity. Eternity with someone I love would be more than I could ever dream.

Apparently I missed some Utah Joke Training course.

Today in Marketing class the Professor's lecture today was on consumer behavior in making purchasing decisions. He used the example of selecting a college to attend. By breaking college down into several components he found how someone would decide to go to a college they find the most value in. These components included: Cost, Location, Education, and EC Locator, among other things.

At this point I feel like I had missed something. EC Locator? What's an EC Locator I asked. Thankfully a similarly thinking classmate of mine was brave enough to ask the question, "What is the EC Locator?" To this the Professor replied rather jovially, "That's your chances of finding and Eternal Companion at the college of your choice!"

Now this got me confused. For starters, I didn't select what college I wanted to go to based on getting married. Second off I don't much feel like dating anyone here, let alone marry anyone here. Thirdly (and in my opinion, most importantly) there's someone at home that I love and feel perfect with. (Snap out of it! This is getting to be really sappy!)

Either way, marriage jokes aside, more and more I find myself a certain outsider here to Utah culture and environment. The air is colder sooner in the year and the sky is constantly cloudless. My favorite movies and shows are scarce here as I rarely meet anyone who could respond to any question regarding Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Welcome to Night Vale, or Sleepy Hollow. Meanwhile the pastime of choice here appears to be platonic dating (if not something even worse which I will only refer to as NCMO). And this is fine, I am content to hang out with friends, and work and study while they decide to date. While they date I dream of the day I can return home and all I can say is: It will all be worth it.

To Fold the Laundered Clothes

Oftentimes I wonder,
Whether I should fold the clothes,
Would the world be torn asunder,
Should I leave them in their troves?

They sit there in the bag,
And seem to look with wondering eyes,
Why does their owner lag,
In his numerous tries.

Maybe we are forgotten,
And he has turned his eyes.
Maybe he hates our cotton,
And has learned to despise.

But the kind owner did not forget,
He takes them each, one by one,
And removes all thoughts of neglect,
And from the homely hanger they are swung.

Exams: Here be Dragons

Today marks my first college exam, Finance. The first of many I feel much like a knight confronting his first dragon. I have my sword in hand and shield at the ready, and yet, like a knight facing down his first dragon I am somewhat unaware of what to expect. The Professor has told us all that the exam has a total of nine math problems and 21 concept definition problems. While I do thank him for his layout explanation I cannot help but feel a sense of foreboding. All I can tell for sure about this dragon is that it has a hypnotic gaze that can cause time to fly faster than a hummingbird and the ability to breath fire causing even the stoutest of knight to hesitate in fear.

And so soon after the first I must confront the second dragon tomorrow, Accounting. I have less knowledge about this dragon than I do about the first. However I know the details of its kind. I can read the Balance Sheet and Income Statement. So do I have reason to fear either of these? Maybe this is not fear, rather the feeling of stealing oneself to just jump. This reminds me of a quote that initially has not impacted me, a quote that I dismissed, but that has gained more and more meaning as I enter my freshman year of college. "When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work".

Cheers everyone, see you on the other side of this metaphorical dragon.

Talking about Movies

I was overjoyed last night when my girlfriend informed me that she had just seen The Dark Knight, the second installment of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy. The Dark Knight is one of my personal favorites. I like it, not for the antics of Heath Ledger as the Joker, but for the character of Harvey Dent as he goes from Gotham's White Knight to Two-Face.

It was this that reminded me how much I enjoy talking with people about movies. And I look forward to so many more movie talks.

(I originally planned for this post to be more profound, but, alas the best laid plans of mice and men...)

Being Tired

I'm tired. I'm very tired. So tired I do not even know what I should write about. So I guess I'll just write about how I'm tired. I'm tired of not feeling able to do what I need to do. It's all right there, all I need to do is actually do it. I'm tired of feeling like no matter how hard I work at something I'll just come up short, again, and again, and again. I'm tired of people thinking I'm not able to do things. I'm tired of believing them. I'm tired of being tired and being too tired to do anything about it. I'm tired of writing this post because I feel like it's all the tired angst I was suppose to leave behind in high school. Sometimes I think I've grown a lot, other times I feel like I've grown little if at all.

Ugh... it's Monday again.