Things I am Thankful For

Since yesterday it was Thanksgiving Day here in the United States I decided to make a list of 10 things I am Thankful for (in no order of importance):

1. My family
2. My opportunity to study at BYU
3. My friends
4. My wonderful and amazing-beyond-all-comparison Girlfriend
5. My incredible intellect
6. My devilishly handsome good looks
7. My even better sense of humour
8. My warm coat
9. The technology that allows me to talk to people I love who are far away
10. The Dear Readers of my blog, there are so few of you out there, so thank you for taking the time to read the thoughts of my mind.

Happy Holidays to all of you! Cheers!

How to be Beautiful... Like Me

I know you are all thinking it, yes, Dear Reader, I am indeed beautiful. How do I know you think that? How can you even think that when some of you have yet to meet me, some may never have the privilege of meeting me. But then, yes, we still get to this point. I am beautiful. Please, allow me to innumerate my beautiful traits.

When I look in the mirror I see... me of course! I'm not a vampire so my reflection shows. I see a guy in mildly wrinkled clothes, seeing as at times I fail to fold the laundered clothes (please refer back to my previous poem about the matter of folding the clothes). I wear my school with pride, I have several shirts that read: Brigham Young University. Why wouldn't I have these shirts, I got them for free, and that four letter word is music to college students. I wear the same old coat that's missing a button on the bottom left side. Lint has collected on the jacket seeing as I have neither gotten around to investing in a lint roller nor found a dry cleaner around here. I carry the same black messenger bag with the same well read books. I have papers and pencils to adorn my student figure. I have eyes that speak of late nights studying and hands that speak of being soaked for far too long in the dishroom during long night shifts. But I am beautiful.

I am in desperate need of a haircut and sometimes my stubble grows in before I get around to shaving. My voice goes from a deep, low monotone to a shrill theatrical laugh. I've scared children, I've scared teachers, I've scared doctors. And yet all the while I am beautiful.

I am a Peacock who struts around the world. I am so pleased with myself I cannot see at times when danger lurks behind my fan. Sometimes the fan of my many feathers weighs me down from escaping the danger. Yet I am happy the way I am because being beautiful is not about wearing the nicest clothes or having the most expensive haircut. There's well groomed, which I am, then there's garishly bedecked, which I'm not. Some people think that beauty is being the gem of the world so they polish their outsides to be the biggest brightest gem, although imperfections always lurk underneath. The biggest gems are always those who are gems to themselves first and to others later, these are gems that are not always seen as gems. They are just a rock to the world, plain, simple, and common. But inside they are brighter than the brightest gems the world sees. I am beautiful because I chose to be who I am and I surround myself with people who love me for who I am on the inside, rather than what's on the outside. We all have bad hair days, and the days where we've let ourselves go. But we are beautiful on the inside. So never forget who you are and never forget those who love you. The world will tell you to wear the biggest necklaces or have the most expensive garb. All the while thought remember the Sneetches who were too focused on the "Stars upon thars" that they didn't see the stars within themselves. Be confident with who you are, that's how I'm beautiful, and how you can be beautiful too.

I am a Spy

I might as well say it. I am a Spy. Not the type of spy who follows from a distance with binoculars. I'm a Secret Spy, a Special Agent. I'm not far away. I'm right next to you, you just don't know it. I'm not wearing any special gear, I'm not sneaking around, I'm just that guy down the aisle looking at the Shower Gels. I'm wearing a heavy black jacket, and a maroon scarf paired with maroon shoes. I'm a spy, and my greatest ability is the ability to be the same as everyone around me.

There is a crowd in the store. A basketball game just finished. The counter is full of happy people eating ice cream with friends. I laugh at their jokes, but I'm dead serious. I pull out my phone, but I'm not texting. I'm taking pictures. I have one goal: to make the grade. To complete my mission I must identify strengths and weaknesses in the target's strategy. I see all the pretty packaging. I know all the persuading promotion. I know your tricks.

I'm not just a Spy, this store is not just the venue of my mission it is the target of my mission. My mission is not just a mission, it is a project. I'm not just a Spy, I'm a Marketing Student, and my goal is to make the grade.

My Shoes and My Scarf

On Friday I bought new shoes.
They have a maroon canvass top.
They also have white soles and a black stripe.
I have a maroon scarf with a black stripe.
My Maroon shoes match my maroon scarf.
This makes me happy.
That is all.

Some of the Wisest Words I've Ever Heard

"Your focus determines your reality" -Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn

"Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don't think. Trust you instincts" -Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn

Now before you, my dear reader, begin lampooning me as the King of Nerds for quoting Star Wars (even worse, quoting from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace), please allow me to explain why this quote has made an impact on me. Star Wars has been an almost ever present part of my life. I grew up with the Original Trilogy, I would clean my room as young child so that I could have a space to lie down on when I put my Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi VHS into the VCR that sat in my room. Something about the saga captured the attention of my mind. Needless to say I was excited out of my mind when, in 1999, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace came out. Even though for my fans of the franchise it lacked what they had waited for for so long I loved the movie. I loved the battle sequences, as a child the massive armies were huge to me and filled my eyes with delight.

Now I'm older and I still am a huge fan of Star Wars, although the battle sequences are spectacular to me still I've found something else for me to enjoy in the story. You'd be surprised how much wisdom exists within those six films (seven, if you are among the fans who count The Clones Wars movie, which I happen to do). My favorite bit of wisdom, however comes from The Phantom Menace. Many of you will be surprised that wisdom can be found in the same film as Jar Jar Binks,but as I've grown up I've found this one line by Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn to be one of the most influential lines from film I've ever heard. Before departing to return to Naboo for a final confrontation with the Trade Federation Qui-Gon Jinn takes young Anakin aside and says "Remember: Your focus determines your reality".

I have never been one who throws himself down at the feet of those self-help gurus who always proclaim the power of positive thinking. For some reason I always found it sickeningly optimistic. However within the past year of my life I have had many hard times. There are times that I fail to live up to the expectations of others. There are times I fail to live up to my own expectations. There are times when it seems everything around me seems to go wrong. There are even times when those I care about go through hard times and I feel powerless to help.

That last bit is especially hard. For some of them I know exactly how they feel. I feel the same loss and hopelessness because, at one point in my life I was lost. I do not want to come off as a self-proclaimed savior, because I'm not, But I know from my own experience that when tough times come when we focus on it they just get tougher. Focusing on things makes them a bigger part of your life. When I am so taken in by a good book the world fades from around me because that's where my focus is, this has happened with only a few books so far Ready, Player One by Ernest Cline is one that I would highly recommend, but I digress.

Concentrating on the here and now is also important. Looking far into the future is good but it should not be our focus. The future is ever changing based on the choices we make and the choices of others around us. By looking too much into what the future might hold we risk creating what I call Fear Fantasies. In these Fear Fantasies we look at every possible outcome we can see, and all the ways it can go wrong. We try to manipulate the future in our favor and by so doing we inadvertently bring about the very future we tried to avoid because we never existed where we were, when we were.

I'll simply close this ramble by immortalizing my father on the internet (through something other than pauldone.com) by relaying something he would always say to me.

"Be where you are, when you are there" -Paul M. Done